The Peach

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Tuesday, October 05, 2004

Baron's Brain: The Official Pigeon School of Debate and Their Star Pupil

After closely scrutinizing the most recent Kerry/Bush debate, The Brain decided to look into President Bush's technique and who (or what) could have coached him. The videotape offered a confusing array of clues. Yet, what The Brain found most peculiar was the odd use of body language the Prez obviously was well versed, as well as well rehearsed, in. After consulting a number of close politcal insiders, The Brain discovered what he suspected all along. Bush was incorporating a debate technique thought to have gone the route of the now extinct dodo bird. Yes, our leader had studied the ancient technique of "pigeon debating." To verify this, The Brain sought out probably the last great expert in "pigeon debating," Professor Coocoo Peck (see picture). The Professor spends his lunch hours underneath a statue in Washington Square Park. Professor Peck had this to say:
"You can most certainly see that our President has employed many characteristics reminiscent of 'pigeon debating.' The most significant are the bobbing of the head, the lifting of the shoulders, the batting of the eyes while maintaining the somewhat 'checked out' look, the curling of the lips as if eating bird seed, and finally the swaying back and forth. This is done to confuse and disorient the opponent. Unfortunately, for Mr. Bush, if the opponent is unfamiliar with this form of debating, which I'm sure was the case with Mr. Kerry, the technique is completely inocuous. Subsequently, the employer of this strategy ends up looking like a straining fool."

The Brain is curious if Bush will stick with his current game plan? Or will he throw caution to the wind and begin flapping his arms, too? The clock is ticking.


At 1:29 AM, Blogger opinionion said...

How excellent. It is just the kind of inciteful, sensitive analysis we have come to expect of Professor Peck. I see in his future The Coocoo Peck Chair in Body Language Arts, possibly at the New School.

At 8:37 AM, Blogger CrossTab said...

If you're interested, perhaps you might like to check out one of Peck's seminal papers on pigeon debating and our democracy. Title: "Bush is for the Birds: An Analysis of Presidential Debate-style. It was published in the 2002 collected papers of The International Pigeon Debating Society.


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