The Peach

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Tuesday, May 10, 2005

"Francis? Ain't That A Girly Name?"

The anti-abortion extremist Neal Horsley admitted to Fox listeners of the Alan Colmes show that he, now get this, had sex with mules. That's right, the founder of and the Nuremberg files, which listed names and addresses of abortion doctors leading to several shooting and bombing deaths, said in no uncertain terms, "When you grow up on a Georgia farm, your first girlfriend is a mule."

When Colmes asked if Horsley was suggesting that "everybody who grows up on a Georgia farm has a mule as a girlfriend," Horsley responded by pointing out that it was a historical fact and that people like Colmes "are so far removed from reality." Horsley then went on to rationalize his actions by saying, "If it's warm and it's damp and it vibrates you might in fact have sex with it."

The Peach wonders if this would include a bowl of freshly cooked pudding gently jiggling on top of a vibrating clothes dryer? How about chicken noodle soup? Maybe some oatmeal? Goulash? Gee Neal, the possibilities are endless.


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