The Peach

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Tuesday, May 03, 2005

Newsflash: George and Laura Not Extreme Enough for Theo-Wingnuts

You know you're in an alternate universe when George and Laura Bush come under fire from extreme right-wing Christians for sins ranging from insufficient wifely submissiveness to gay marriage.

We thought only the mockers and scoffers on the left had picked up the supreme irony of George W. Bush and the Saudi prince, romantically romping hand-in-hand through the White House garden. But we were wrong. Those sharp-eyed Christian Coalition-types noticed it too, and were horrified for the same reason that the Peach was laughing its fuzzy head off -- those two looked GAY!

In this week's Time Magazine, Gary Bauer expressed the outrage of his constituency thusly, "It was like fingernails scratching on a blackboard, magnified 10 million times. You wonder if the folks at the White House have any idea of the impact an image like that has out in Middle America."

Today, it's Laura Bush coming under fire from members of the same far-right constituency that believes it put her husband in the White House and should therefore be entitled to replace the Constitution with its weirdly-interpreted Bible. Why are groups like the Coaltion for Traditional Values mad? Apparently Laura Bush's roast of her husband at the other night's White House Correspondents Association dinner demonstrated an unacceptable public breach of the Biblical commandment that wives must be submissive to their husbands.

In a press release issued yesterday, the group put it in these stark terms: "[A] virtuous woman is a crown to her husband, but she that maketh him ashamed is as rottenness in his bones. We would imagine that President Bush is feeling pretty rotten right now."

The Coalition went on to suggest that the First Lady was "emasculating" the president at a time when, the group claims, his manliness "is already under attack" (The Peach can only guess that they're referring to, ahem, the little incident with the Saudi prince).

Today, the Coalition is claiming that the statement attributed to them is a hoax perpetrated by a liberal-generated computer virus. However, it's hard to escape the observation that the statement is indisinguishable in tone and purport from a similar letter that the group does not deny sending to Bush prior to his inauguration, requesting that the Bush twins dress in "modest" attire. That letter concluded that the twins in the past had "like Jezebel, painted their eyes and decked themselves with ornaments to entice men to commit adultery with them." If the latest statement is not from the group, it was certainly written by someone who has their signature style down pat.

Is all of this a precursor to the wheels of the "radical right-wing" train coming off? The Peach can only hope that events like this place these extremists under greater scrutiny and, ultimately, expose the hypocrisy they represent.


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