The Peach

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Friday, May 27, 2005

Proof That Wingnuts Think Bush is God

The Bush Fish. We're totally serious. We do not think this is a parody site. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

Knickers In A Twist

In what is obviously another attempt to divert attention from his criminal activities, Tom DeLay is now going after NBC. In a recent episode of Law and Order: Criminal Intent, frustrated police officers searching for right-wing extremists suspected of killing a judge comment that "Maybe we should put out an APB for somebody in a Tom DeLay T-shirt."

DeLay responded that this was a "slur" against him and was intended to attack his comments on monitoring the federal judiciary. In defense, Law and Order producer Dick Wolf congratulated DeLay "for switching the spotlight from his own problems to an episode of a TV show."

Maybe, as a peace offering Mr. Wolf could create a new TV show in honor of Tom DeLay. It could be titled, hmmm, Law and Order: CTP (Criminal Texas Politics).

It's Raining Money

When it comes to money, piety will only go so far. Two days before Rick Santorum introduced a bill that would restrict the National Weather Service, his political action committee received a $2,000 donation from the chief executive of AccuWeather, Inc., a leading and rival provider of weather data.

The bill would prevent NWS from certain services offered by the private sector, ultimatley protecting AccuWeather's handing out weather data to a variety of outlets, including media organizations.

Santorum argues that the bill would force NWS to focus on its core mission of getting threatening weather information out in a "timely and speedy basis." Opponents say the bill prevents dissemination of weather information, which endangers the public and forces taxpayers to pay for weather data twice.

When asked about the suspicious activity, Santorum said he didn't see "any coincidence between the two" and that there just happened to "be a fundraiser in the town" the chief executive was in. The Peach sees this as being no different than "coincidentally" fundraising in Florida at the same time Terry Schiavo was dying.

The Peach can only wonder if the new face of Catholicism is meant to be represented by such a selfish, greedy man.

What First Amendment?

Boy, are supporters of "Little Boots" Bush thin skinned or what? At El Camino Real High School in California, posters advertising a satirical play performed by its students depicting Bush with a Grouch Marx-style mustache and cigar, were ordered torn down after a student complained.

According to the school Principal Kenny Lee, a senior student was "very upset," and if "something is bothering a student on campus, we're going to address it." Subsequently, the drama students redesigned the poster to display a silhouette of Bush and a burning cigar, along with the inscription "What First Amendment?"

Wait a minute, here. ONE student? The Peach is sorry, but after Bush has been shoving around his supposed "political capital" insisting that his election represents the "majority of American people," the fact that this school is going to crumble under the woeful snuffles of one student sounds all so, well, Republican.

Only If You're American

In an act that wreaks of xenophobia, the American Gold Star Mothers group has refused to give membership to Ligaya Lagman, whose son, Army Staff Sgt. Anthony Lagman, was killed last year in Afghanistan. The reason is because--even though she is a permanent resident and taxpayer--she is not a U.S. citizen.

Lagman has lived in the U.S. for over 20 years and her application to American Gold Star was sponsored by a number of war veterans. Some mothers of the group were dismayed by the fact that there is no discimination in a national cemetery or when soldiers die side by side, yet they can disciminate against a mother.

When questioned about the group's decision, national President Ann Herd responded, "We can't go changing the rules every time the wind blows." Considering Herd's comments, The Peach can think of some other things that "blow" about this decision.

Finally, for all those other non-U.S. mothers whose children the army solicits, The Peach would like to say this: Mamma, don't let your son grow up to be a cowboy.

Thursday, May 26, 2005

What's This 'We' Shit, Asman?

Media Matters for America reports that Faux News Anchor David Asman gave away the game today. Commiserating with Trent Lott over the filibuster situation, Mr. Asman wondered why Republicans had dropped the so-called nuclear option "if we should have done it and if we had the votes to do it" (emphasis The Peach's). Mr. Asman hesitated before rephrasing his ill-advised "we" as "you guys in the Republican party."

Oops. Guess we all now know that Fox has, well, a Republican bias, if it wasn't already painfully and brutally obvious. Please feel free to let the FCC know as well.

Newsflash: Peach At a Loss For Words

The Peach just really does not know what to say about this report of the Secret Service investigating a high school year book prank. Your tax dollars at work, folks.

Everybody Loves Helen

Ya gotta love Helen Thomas, grande dame of the White House press corps, for this exchange with White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan. Even more satisfying, it is the latest in a series of drubbings that Scotty and the Administration have recieved at the hands of the usually docile MSM. Suddenly, our stalwart press corps seems to have woken up to the fact that the White House lies and distorts to cover its ass and protect its agenda! And they suddenly are recognizing that -- just maybe -- it is their job to put up at least some token resistance to being spun.

The Peach is not a betting fruit, but if it were, it would not put money on Mr. McClellan keeping his job for longer than three months.

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

FBI Supports Newsweek's Claim

For all of those who were screaming bloody-murder over Newsweek's story about Quran desecration, The Peach would now like to introduce evidence supporting Newsweek's initial allegations. A report from none other than the FBI is now stating that interrogators as early as April of 2002, four months after the first detainees arrived, abused detainees and desecrated the Quran.

One detainee was quoted as telling the FBI that guards would routinely beat detainees and that there was in fact an instance when a guard "flushed a Quran down the toilet." This after the White House and Pentagon vehemently denounced Newsweek's account of abuses at Guantanamo Bay.

Coincidentally, on the same day as the release of the FBI report, Amnesty International in its annual report called the U.S. prison camp at Guantanamo "the gulag of our time" urging Washington to shut down the prison camp.

So, it seems that Newsweek had it right all along.

Bill Maher Responds to Bachus


Tuesday, May 24, 2005

Talking Treason

While the SCLM sleeps, a truly alarming attack on our democracy is underway. The Peach presents Exhibit A:

Republican Rep. Spencer Bachus of Alabama has suggested that comedian Bill Maher may be guilty of treason for remarks that Mr. Maher made on his May 13 show. As reported by the AP, the offending remarks touched on the America's military's failure to reach recruiting goals. Maher allegedly speculated that more people may have "joined the Michael Jackson Fan Club" than the military recently, and suggested that the military was desperate for "warm bodies."

Mr. Bachus seems to be operating with a rather specialized definition of treason. "In treason," he said, "one definition is to undermine the effort or national security of our country." That may be "one definition," but it is not the accepted one. According to Black's Law Dictionary, treason is "a breach of allegiance to one's government, usually committed through levying war against such government or by giving aid or comfort to the enemy."

The Black's definition goes on to specify that the offense comprehends overt acts to overthrow the government to which one owes allegiance or to betray one's government "into the hands of a foreign power." To be convicted of treason, the offender must have both joined forces with the enemy and rendered him aid and comfort. The Peach believes that in a sane world, it would be hard to argue that Mr. Maher's remarks qualify.

However, the Peach begins to wonder if we do live in a sane world. For despite Mr. Bachus's ignorance of the very legal code with which his constituencies have entrusted him, his charges are likely to resonate well with Red Staters. Why can't we, after all, stretch the definition of "giving aid and comfort to the enemy" to include making snide remarks about the foibles of our own military? Why couldn't such statements constitute joining forces with the enemy? The fact that Mr. Bachus's definition of treason is invented on the spot for his own self-serving purposes will make no difference to people in this country who are eager for one-party Republican rule, and who probably see Black's Law Dictionary as just another egg-headed, elitist liberal sham.

The Peach wonders if this is just a taste of things to come. As Donald Rumsfeld put it so ominously after the Newsweek flap: "People need to be very careful about what they say just as they need to be careful about what they do." He implies that in the gathering Republican theo-dictatorship, saying is doing. Words are deeds. People like Bill Maher better be very careful about what they say, because their statements may amount to an act of treason.

And that is something that we all, but most of all the MSM, should be very, very concerned about. For his part, Mr. Bachus is not calling for Mr. Maher's prosecution, but merely for the cancellation of his show. Silence, not jail. But when you think about it, silencing free speech is uncomfortably close to a world where journalists could be prosecuted for speaking out.

The truly alarming possibility is not that we may eventually find ourselves living in such a world, but that we already are.