The Peach

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Friday, August 05, 2005

The Peach Predicts: Novak To Fox News

In what seems as an inevitability, The Peach is predicting that suspended CNN commentator Robert Novak will join that cesspool of "responsible" journalists at Fox News.

After making a complete fool of himself on CNN's Inside Politics by first swearing and then walking off the set, The Peach feels the touchy and childish Novak will find greater comfort with the more sensitive and foolish brood over at FN. The suspension handed out by CNN is simply a predecesor to Novak's release by a network trying to regain respectability by relieving itself of journalistic hacks and has-beens (Tucker Carlson, etc.).

The Peach feels it is only a matter of time before we hear the irrelevant, pompous bloviations of Robert Novak again.

American People To Bush: You Stink!

In an obvious slap-in-the-face to Bush administration policies, the most recent AP-Ipsos poll finds that most Americans don't approve of anything he does.

Bush's handling of the "wreck in Iraq" has reached an embarassingly low approval rating of 38 percent. His overall approval rating is at 42 percent and when asked if they felt Bush was honest, only 48 percent would go out on a limb and say he was. Similarly not so shocking is that 56 percent of Americans now view his confidence as arrogance.

Now, the next time Bush uses the phrase "the American people" The Peach hopes someone will inquire as to who the hell he is talking about.

Thursday, August 04, 2005

Baron's Brain: New Presidential Suit?

In response to accusations that he was getting soft, President Bush has made a bold fashion move with his "boxy" new presidential suit. The suit, basically a gray box with holes for the head, legs and arms, carries a large replica of the presidential seal and its own microphone. People close to the matter say that the new look is designed to better communicate Bush's style of immovable, monolithic leadership.

The new presidential suit is replacing the much ridiculed (albeit more daring according to radical fashionistas) "presidential skirt." The skirt, which right-wing conservatives referred to in tones of withering contempt, was initially thought to be more in line with Bush's idea of "compasionate conservatism." But after a series of sordid jokes containing the phrase "blowing Bush's skirt up" began making the late-night TV circuit and a surge in Log Cabin Republican membership, the elegant, yet controversial garb was dropped.