The Peach

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Friday, August 11, 2006

Bush Knew of Threat. Remained on Vacation.

It has been discovered that our "sun-baked brained" leader knew about the terrorist plot as early as Sunday, and knew about the raid on the suspects as early as Wednesday, yet decided to remain on vacation in Crawford, Texas.

In his Sunday conversation with our mentally challenged leader, Tony Blair told Bush that "there was a specific threat to US airlines." Blair reaffirmed this concern on Wednesday, 8 p.m. UK time. Apparently, the threat was not enough for Bush to reschedule his bike ride and return to his office.

There are times when The Peach wonders which is the greater threat--the terrorists or the casual ineptness of our leaders.

Thursday, August 10, 2006

Define "Suggestive"

In response to the newest uncovered terror scheme in London, Bush's HS Secretary Michael Chertoff claimed that the setup was "suggestive of an al-Qaida plot." Chertoff went on to clarify this statement by distinguishing this terror group from others by claiming they were "sophisticated, had a lot of members and it was international in scope."

Sorry, but The Peach is having a little trouble here. Is Chertoff describing al-Qaida or the United Nations? Maybe this explains why this administration is incapable of capturing real terrorists. The definition is a bit too broad.

Hey Dick! Shut Your Pie Hole!

The Peach is once again banging its fuzzy head against the wall over the incredibly, stupendously, incomprehensibly idiotic comments by Dick (yes, you are) Cheney on Joe Lieberman's defeat to Ned Lamont. It seems that ole Dicky-boy is now telling his pea-brained constituency that Lieberman's defeat sends a message to "Al Qaeda types . . . that they can ultimately break the will of the American people." That's right, even Bush press secretary Tony Snow was quoted as saying Joe's downfall is like waving "a white flag in the war on terror."

Have these people broken into the stash of Afghan heroin? The Peach feels that the only respectable thing for readers to do when encountering anyone making this claim is to pause, give a serious look of contemplation, then calmly turn to that person and gently but firmly state, "You, my friend, are an idiot." Nuff said.