The Peach

The Peach is now on Facebook

2010-02-12T08:52:00.001-05:00

http://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/The-Peach/457948085491?ref=nf

You Have Got To Be Joking

2009-02-03T10:54:00.002-05:00

OK, The Peach is sort of going on and off ever since Barack has been elected, but this was something The Peach could not leave alone. Joe The Plumber, the barometer of all things political (yeah, right), has been hired as a strategist by the Republican Party.

That's right, Joe Wurzelblubber will meet with GOP congressional aides to help chart GOP strategy. Excuse me, you are going to hire Joe Waffletopper? Joe Wiffleblower? Who's steering the Republican ship these days?

Don't Do It!

2008-11-18T08:00:00.003-05:00

Because The Peach is a child of the auto industry, it has always supplied some deference to their needs. Most of this was based on sympathy for their workers, and the fact that every time management screwed up they would cover it up by blaming the union.

Well, The Peach ain't feelin' too charitable right now. The auto industry is asking the feds for another $25 billion to bail out their failing industry. The Peach has a few words for those on The Hill: Don't Do It! The Big Three has continuously leeched money from taxpayers for years while maintaining their form of mismanagement and poor planning. They were told 20 years ago to change; they were told 10 years ago to change; they were told 5 years ago to change. And it's still the same thing.

The Big Three has to stop making cars and trucks for those who think big vehicles will somehow cure erectile dysfunction (or penis envy). People want smart cars, not high-speed, gas guzzling, military armored tanks.

Just say NO!

It's Over!!!!

2008-11-04T23:45:00.000-05:00

Obama wins!

And The Peach just wants to celebrate!

The Party's Over

2008-10-27T15:03:00.000-04:00

With one week until the election The Peach thought this classic piece would sort of summarize how the McCain camp must be feeling about now. The Peach encourages readers to wait through the mindless banter (or is it alcohol infused?) and listen to the song. Funny thing, the mindless banter sounds like a conversation McCain and Palin would be having.

McCain's Terrorist Buddies

2008-10-09T15:10:00.001-04:00

The Peach thought it would be helpful if readers saw the kinds of terrorists John McCain has been pallin' around with.

Meet Lady Macbeth

2008-10-08T16:13:00.003-04:00

The Peach thought it would present the REAL Sarah Palin. If you want to see her receiving a blessing to protect her from "the spirit of witchcraft," click here. Yes, kind readers, it really did happen. Notice when the Palinator gets her blessing, she's surrounded by three guys. Eerie coincidence?

You can watch the whole video here.

Paranoid, Desperate, Freaks

2008-10-06T21:48:00.000-04:00

The Peach, for one, is damn glad Keith Olbermann is bringing up the freaks Sarah (I'm-just-a-backwater-redneck) Palin has been pallin' around with lately.

Oh, and by the way!

2008-10-06T14:05:00.002-04:00

Speaking of "associations" with criminals, did The Peach forget to mention John McCain's old buddy Charles Keating?

Palin Steps In It Again

2008-10-05T13:25:00.002-04:00

Proving that she can actually read, though only select words, Sarah (you betcha!) Palin misrepresented an article discussing a loose connection between Barack Obama and William Ayers, a Vietnam-era member of the Weather Underground. The NY Times article points out that Obama knows Ayers through Ayers' work with the Children and Family Justice Center as well as their joint work as board members on an anti-poverty group Woods Fund of Chicago. Ayers also contributed the astronomical amount of $200 toward Obama's senate reelection. The Peach would like to point out (especially to Ms. "I only read the headlines" Palin) that Obama was eight years old when the Weather Underground was threatening federal institutions.

BUT, while we're on the topic of "associations," The Peach would like "the queen of inarticulateness" to explain John McCain's relationship with the white-supremacist Richard Quinn. It seems Richard Quinn, the editor-in-chief of Southern Partisan magazine (a magazine that believes African-American leaders are perpetuating a myth that Africans were dragged away from their home during the days of slave trading), was the South Carolina campaign leader, as well as political consultant, for the John McCain presidential run in 2000.

And if you want to talk about ironic, in 1990 Quinn praised the political campaign of Ku Klux Klan member David Duke, stating that the best way to reject politics-as-usual would be to elect a "maverick like David Duke."

Yes, Ms. Palin, it seems you "mavericks" associate with some very peculiar company.

What is she hiding?

2008-10-04T08:03:00.002-04:00

The Alaska Supreme Court has agreed to hear an emergency appeal from Republican lawyers attempting to shut down the Alaskan Legislature's Troopergate investigation of Sarah (Winkie) Palin.

What is causing great confusion with The Peach is that initially SP welcomed the investigation and insisted that it would be "transparent." Now, not only is it obviously not transparent, but the McCainiacs are helping to try and shut it down.

Meanwhile, those stalwarts at the Anchorage Daily News published this video documenting the whole shift in policy.

Laurel and Hardy, Abbot and Costello, . . .

2008-09-30T08:53:00.005-04:00

In an "Ain't she just a cute little bubble head," moment, McCain feebly attempted to bail out his speech challenged running mate, when she was questioned about a comment she made at a pizza shop regarding attacking Pakistan. McCain dismissed the reaction to her response as no more than "gotcha journalism."

Unfortunately, Palin had basically the same response in her interview with Charlie Gibson:

GIBSON: But, Governor, I'm asking you: We have the right, in your mind, to go across the border with or without the approval of the Pakistani government.
PALIN: In order to stop Islamic extremists, those terrorists who would seek to destroy America and our allies, we must do whatever it takes and we must not blink, Charlie, in making those tough decisions of where we go and even who we target.
GIBSON: And let me finish with this. I got lost in a blizzard of words there. Is that a yes? That you think we have the right to go across the border with or without the approval of the Pakistani government, to go after terrorists who are in the Waziristan area?
PALIN: I believe that America has to exercise all options in order to stop the terrorists who are hell bent on destroying America and our allies. We have got to have all options out there on the table.

So, now McCain has to act as the pooper scooper for Sarah's gaffes. It has gotten so bad that even conservative journalist Kathleen Parker has recommended that Palin step down as McCain's selection. Of course, The Peach recognizes that this would doom McCain, but it might prevent further embarrassment to the McPal team, as well as Republicans throughout the country.

As it stands now, McCain's presidential run is circling the porcelain abyss.

McCain't Top 10 Questions at Economic Summit

2008-09-26T10:44:00.001-04:00

Ala David Letterman, The Peach thought it would list the top 10 questions John McCain asked at the Economic Crisis Summit.

10) Didn't someone say there was going to be donuts at this thing?

9) If Letterman calls, can you tell him I was here all the time?

8) Does Freddie Mac deliver?

7) Did you change the wallpaper in here or something?

6) What's that colored fella doing at the other end of the table?

5) And from here I'm going to which room?

4) Can we use the word "fundamental" somewhere in this bill?

3) What time do I have to be at that pesky debate thingy?

2) Who am I, what am I doing here?

and the Number 1 question:

1) Where's Sarah?

Campbell Brown Smackdown

2008-09-24T18:32:00.001-04:00

The Peach loooooooooves Campbell Brown. You go girl! Don't take no stuff from no one.

Palin's Sack of Caribou S**t

2008-09-24T11:06:00.000-04:00

While Sarah Palin continues to lie about the "Bridge to Nowhere," it seems that its substitute, the soon to be infamous "Road to Nowhere," has just been completed.

This road replaced the bridge at a cost of a cool $223 million of federal money because, according to Palinists, the contract had already been signed. So, instead of a bridge connecting the city of Ketchikan to the airport on Gravina Island, Ketchikan has a whopping 3 miles of access road.

The Mayor of Ketchikan, Bob Weinstein, called the road a waste of money that could have been used to fix the city's roads and sidewalks. The Peach suspects that ole Bob may be lining himself up for a future VP run.

Just Another Dumb "Fascist-Quoter"

2008-09-17T17:07:00.006-04:00

Why does it seem every time Sarah Palin opens her mouth, cuckoo birds begin to sing?

First, it was discovered that the "writer" responsible for the "small town people" quote she used in her RNC-VP acceptance speech was none other than Westbrook Pegler, that Jew-hating, Joe McCarthy loving, bigot. Apparently, Pegler's hate ran so deep that even the John Birch Society rejected him.

Then we had the whole "Bush Doctrine" gaffe (it was the first time The Peach heard the name "Charlie" pronounced "Churlie") and McCainsters trying to explain that even Bush writing on a post-it constituted part of the "Doctrine."

And now, oh boy, listening to SP trying to explain how Barack Obama laid an "unfair attack on the verbiage that John McCain chose to use." Uh, Sarah . . . in case you didn't know, the definition of verbiage:

1 : a profusion of words usually of little or obscure content

On the other hand, it could be that SP wasn't using the word verbiage at all. In fact, it sounded a lot like that rarely used, but effective Alaskan word verbage which is simply a combination of "verbal" and "garbage." Ah, it all makes sense now.

Hitting the Hookah

2008-09-15T19:42:00.001-04:00

McCain is at it again. On the day the stock market took the greatest plunge since the 9/11 attacks, John McCain actually stated that the economy was strong.

Let's see if The Peach has this right: we're attacked by terrorists and the economy tanks. Hmmm . . . ok . . . The Peach can see that. The current Republican administration controls the American economy and it tanks, and they say it's strong. Hmmm . . . The Peach doesn't think so.

"Whitey Only" Republican Party

2008-09-14T21:45:00.001-04:00

Just call them racist rednecks. The orgnaizers of the Values Voter Summit, a conservative forum in which both Newt Gingrich and Mitt Romney were key Republican speakers, found themselves trying to explain how boxes of "Obama Waffles," portraying Barack Obama in a racially stereotyped fashion on the front and with Arab headress on the back, were being sold openly for three days before cutting off the sale.

The booth in which the mix was being sold was sponsored by the lobbying arm of the Family Research Council, a so-called Christian group. The FRC stated it knew about the boxes, but never bothered to actually examine them (you sort of wonder what part of "negro on a pancake box" didn't sound racist to them).

The Peach is not surprised by this. Watching the Republican National Convention reminded The Peach of a sea of shriveled up marshmallows. You thought the 2004 Convention was white! The RNC used extra bleach for the 2008 gathering. According to polls of delegates taken by CBS and the NY Times a whopping 2% (that's right TWO PERCENT) were black.

So, the next time you hear Republicans talking about "Americans," remember they're still thinking about Ozzie and Harriet.

McCain/Palin Lie of the Day

2008-09-13T16:35:00.001-04:00

At the rate the McCain camp is producing these nose stretchers, The Peach is considering turning this into a daily column. The latest Republican fibster fabrication to meet debunked status is Palin's claims of overseas travels. According to legitimate sources, Palin has never been to Iraq, but instead only visited a border crossing at the Iraq-Kuwait border. On top of that, her only visit to Ireland was for plane refueling. The Peach suspects the McCain campaign to begin adding travel through any country's air space as constituting "visiting" that country.

Meanwhile, on the campaign trail the McCainsters have been reporting false estimates as to the number of people that have shown up at McCain/Palin events. While McCain aides have been reporting local law enforcement claims of enormous crowds, those same law enforcement officials have denied giving the McCain camp any such numbers. In fact, one such event in which McCain officials claimed to attract 23,000 supporters, only attracted 8,000. The Peach isn't sure if the McCain camp was including small animals, wild rodents, insects, etc.

Liar Liar: McCain on "The View"

2008-09-13T15:40:00.000-04:00

On "The View" on Friday, John McCain insisted that as Governor, Sarah Palin has not requested any congressional earmarks, otherwise known as pork. Er, wrong -- Ms. Palin sought more than $250 million in earmarks last year, and about $197 million so far this year.

Just as you can put lipstick on a pig (or a pork-lover), you can also call a lie the truth. But at the end of the day it's still a lie.

Stand Up, Stand Up . . .

2008-09-05T12:02:00.002-04:00

And be counted. The unemployment rate rose to 6.1 percent in August, the highest in the past five years. Meanwhile, the night before this report came out, John McCain stood before the usual assembly of Republican drones and explained how awful the media was, and how mean the Democrats are, and how he is going to reform a Washington that his party has pretty much run since Bush has been in power.

What does all of this mean? Well, if you're one of the 84,000 who has lost his/her job it means John McCain wants to push forward with the same Bush policies, while blaming the Democrats for Republican failures. If that's the sort of change you can live with, The Peach truly feels sorry for you.

Ben Stein: Palin Selection "Peculiar"

2008-09-04T08:31:00.001-04:00

Ben Stein, former speechwriter for Richard Nixon and Gerald Ford, has been added to the long list of Republicans who are now questioning John McCain's selection of Sarah Palin as running mate. In this piece Stein goes as far as saying, "I don't think she's said a word in her whole life about the national economy."

Does this mean if this pit-bull makes it to the White House, someone will have to start spreading out old newspapers?

From Their Own Mouths

2008-09-03T18:20:00.003-04:00

Mike Murphy, who worked on the John McCain campaign in 2000, and Peggy Noonan, former speech writer for Ronald Reagan, were caught on live mic condemning John McCain's selection of Sarah Palin as running mate.

Public Unveiling

2008-09-03T07:51:00.000-04:00

After all this talk of the moral imperative to keep Bristol Palin's pregnancy a private matter The Peach has learned that Sarah Palin intends to trot out future son-in-law Levi Johnston at the RNC. Details have not come in as far as what young Levi's role will be. Regardless, The Peach strongly encourages Palin handlers keep the boy as far away from a microphone as possible (is Alaska far enough?). It probably wouldn't be a good idea for him to yet again announce how he is a redneck who doesn't want children.

McCain the Girly-Man

2008-09-02T21:40:00.000-04:00

John McCain has canceled a long-scheduled interview with Larry King as punishment for Campbell Brown's treatment of McCain adviser Tucker Bounds (how many right-wingers are there named Tucker?) during a CNN interview.

The Peach watched the interview and was glad someone was putting these Republican idiots' feet to the fire and trying to get them to give a straight answer to a simple question.

From this day forward The Peach will be a great admirer of Campbell Brown. You go girl!

Let's Google That

2008-09-02T11:26:00.000-04:00

The LA Times is reporting that a Republican strategist with close ties to the McCain campaign disclosed that the McCain team used little more than a Google search as part of their review of Sarah Palin's past and potential as running mate.

It is also rumored that McCain's policies sprouted from a mish-mosh of information collected from Wikipedia, Yahoo, Dictionary.com, and Nickelodeon Jr.

Big Time Staredown

2008-09-02T10:56:00.001-04:00

Daddy John may be ok with inviting the whole Palin clan to dinner, but The Peach would like readers to take a look at this staredown battle between Meghan McCain and both Daddy and Willow Palin. Meghan has a "I can't believe I have to sit with this trailer trash" look written all over her.

In case any of these contestants are reading The Peach (highly unlikely), The Peach would like to direct them to the National Association of Staredown Professionals for further advice on maintaining their competitive edge in their shortlived relationship.

The Future Son-in-Law

2008-09-02T08:01:00.000-04:00

Bristolgate continues. Word has gotten out that Levi Johnston is the father of Bristol's baby. In his Myspace page, Levi states:

"I'm a f - - -in' redneck" who likes to snowboard and ride dirt bikes.
"But I live to play hockey. I like to go camping and hang out with the boys, do some fishing, shoot some s- - - and just f - - -in' chillin' I guess."

"Ya f - - - with me I'll kick [your] ass," he added.

He also claims to be "in a relationship," but states, "I don't want kids."

Just your everyday teenager looking for a room at the White House.

Follow Up: Palin Lobbying Firm

2008-09-02T07:39:00.000-04:00

The Washington Post has picked up the news story The Peach posted previously. You can read the Post's piece by clicking here.

Somebody Pinch Me!!!

2008-09-01T15:27:00.002-04:00

After eight years of waiting for the Republican Party to crash and burn it looks like they have finally done it. The McCain camp announced that Sarah Palin's 17 year old daughter, Bristol, is five months pregnant. McCain advisers confirmed the information and stated that Palin's daughter will marry the supposed father of the child (shotgun wedding?). The spokespeople also stated that it knew of the pregnancy, but wanted to protect the family. Meanwhile, The Peach has found out that McCain's team has returned to Alaska to vet Palin and her people once again.

Oh boy, and it just gets better. According to sources close to her, when Sarah Palin announced she was 7 months pregnant with her fifth child, daughter Bristol was in the midst of a 5 month absence from school. The Palin family claimed that the absence was due to a severe case of mono. Yet, many bloggers believe that Sarah's fifth child, Trig, is actually Bristol's. This belief gained traction when those around Sarah stated that she never looked pregnant and Mama Palin's own description of what one journal called a "lengthy and circuitous trip" to the delivery room.

This event sends up so many red flags. If this is how McCain uses his judgment, can we really trust him to be president? Can we really trust someone who acts first and asks the important questions later? What happen to the old "abstinence only" mantra? Are Republicans ignoring unsafe sex while promoting their "Christian" agenda?

The Peach feels it is only a matter of time before Sarah Palin pulls out (no pun intended :)). If so, McCain can see if Lynne Spears is available.

Palin Lobbying Firm Under Investigation

2008-08-31T21:59:00.003-04:00

It appears that John McCain's newly selected running mate, Sarah Palin, is not the anti-corruption crusader she claims to be. There have been many reports on her flip-flop over the now failed "bridge to nowhere," refuting her claims that she said "thanks but no thanks" to the federally funded project.

Now The Peach has come across another piece of curious doings during Palin's tenure as mayor of that booming metropolis, Wasilla. While mayor, Palin hired a Washington lobbying firm to secure $8 million in congressionally directed spending projects, better known as earmarks. The lobbying firm was headed by Steven Silver, a former chief of staff to Sen. Ted Stevens of Alaska, the main force behing the "bridge."

Steven Silver is a member of the firm Robertson, Monagle & Eastaugh, a lobbying firm with offices in both Virginia and Alaska. The firm is connected to a long running corruption probe of oil money, legislators, and lobbyists in Juneau's Statehouse. In the summer of 2007 the F.B.I. raided the homes of Sen. Ted Stevens and Rep. Don Young as part of the investigation. So, while Palin trumpets her political reform horn, the reality is that she used the same lobbying firm that was under investigation in 2007.

The concern over the investigation became so great that the firm has recently changed its name to Hoffman, Silver, Gilman & Blasco. The Peach can only wonder if the name change also occured to avoid any embarassment or connection to Palin.

And You Picked Her Because . . . ?

2008-08-29T13:49:00.003-04:00

The Peach may now state with some certainty that by selecting Alaska Governor Sarah Palin as his running mate, John McCain has officially gone off his McNut. Don't get The Peach wrong, there really is nothing bad about Palin. She just doesn't register.

But that isn't the least of it. As recently as the first week of August 2008 Palin has been under investigation for abusing her power. Even though Palin has denied the allegations, the fact of the matter is she is still under investigation. Why would any presidential candidate want to burden themselves with this? Is this how McCain proves to people that he is a "maverick?" By tapping a person who is attached to some form of corruption?

The Palin supporters are quick to point out that the gov maintains an 80% approval rating in their state. But, let's face it. We're talking about Alaska where there are 114 single men for every 100 single women (the highest ratio in the country). And that's in the summertime when troupes of strippers are shipped in for entertainment. Hell, Alaskans would approve of Pamela Sue Anderson as governor if they had the chance!

Update on McCain VP selection

2008-08-29T09:16:00.000-04:00

According to reports out of Cincinnati, a plane carrying Sarah Palin has landed in Middletown, Ohio. John McCain is expected to announce her as his running mate sometime today.

McCain picks VP?

2008-08-29T09:02:00.001-04:00

According to inside information it appears John McCain is going to announce Sarah Palin, current governor of Alaska, as his running mate for the 2008 presidential election. "Sarah Barracuda" as she is known, was the first runner up in the 1984 Miss Alaska Beauty Pageant, hunts, eats moose burgers, ice fishes, rides snowmobiles, and holds a lifetime membership to the NRA.

One Degree of Separation

2008-08-22T08:56:00.000-04:00

OK, so The Peach has been relatively dormant, ripening its pulpy flesh in the summer sun. Now that the presidential battle is in full swing, The Peach feels it is prime time to get back into the fray. And what better way to start then to bring up the seemingly sleazy relationship between John McCain and Ralph Reed.

First, some background. Ralph Reed was the political insider for now jailed lobbyist Jack Abramoff. Following the 9/11 attacks, Abramoff pinged Ralph seeking assistance in pushing through a proposal to rent cruise ships to FEMA off the coast of NYC to house rescue workers and then, four months later, another proposal to get the DOJ to release $16 million to the Choctaw Indians to help build a jail. The cruise ship venture died, but the prison proposal went through, even though other tribes were requesting funds and the Choctaws had abundant funding already.

Along with this bit of double doing, Abramoff requested assistance from Reed in assuring Angela Williams would not be appointed head of the Interior Department's Office of Insular Affairs. Through e-mails Reed acknowledged weighing in heavily on blocking Williams' appointment (the e-mails can be read here). Ironically, Angela Williams was the wife of Orson Swindle, a Vietnam prisoner of war with John McCain, the same John McCain in charge of investigating the Abramoff scandal. Let it be said that even though Abramoff was found to be guilty, Reed was never brought in for questioning.

Let us now leap to 2008 and the current presidential race. It seems Reed sent out an e-mail soliciting associates to attend an August 18th fund-raiser in Georgia for John McCain. In the e-mail Reed claims to have "agreed to serve as a member of the McCain Victory 2008 team." This is the same Ralph Reed involved in the Abramoff scandal that John McCain has been using as proof that he is willing to take on business-as-usual politics in Washington. So, even though McCain is against "business-as-usual" he is behaving as if it is "business-as-usual."

What was that old saying: fool me once shame of you, fool me twice . . . ?

Covering All The Bases

2008-04-14T08:39:00.002-04:00

Recent actions has The Peach convinced that when judgment day comes around Bush is not taking any chances and betting on both good AND evil to come out ahead.

As an appeasement to God, Bush is gassing up the Prez mobile and personally greeting Pope Benedict XVI's plane. The meet and greet festivities will continue with the Bushes hosting a fancy East Room dinner where, The Peach is certain, many "breaking bread" jokes will abound.

Meanwhile, as Bush guarantees his place in the pearly-gate line with his Pope stamped, get-into-heaven-free card, Bush will simultaneously claim a literal "hot seat" by courting the Devil and attending the Beijing Olympics. The Peach is certain Bush will honor the "Dark Lord" with a bowl of Chinese "hot pot" as well as egg roll with "hot" Chinese mustard.

So, when it comes to Bush's self-proclaimed Christian beliefs, Bush is betting on BOTH red and black to win.

Kiss of Death

2008-03-05T10:28:00.002-05:00

Hey Fredo, come over here and let Michael give you a kiss.

The Peach has just learned that Bush is going to endorse McCain for president. This is sort of like being told that you're going to run the family business in Vegas. The next thing you know you're either saying a Hail Mary in a rowboat or trying on piano cord for a necktie.

Shut Up, Dummy!

2008-02-26T10:48:00.002-05:00

Could it be that President "I like the taste of shoe leather" Bush is again hitting the peace pipe? At the recent Republican Governors Association meeting Bush stated that he "was confident (Republicans) would hold the White House in 2008."

What The Peach found somewhat shocking was not this statement. The Peach feels it's OK to feel confident. Hell, even the Miami Dolphins thought they would make the playoffs at the beginning of the 2007 football season.

No, it was what Bush based his prediction on: "I say I am confident, because I understand the mentality of the American people." SAY WHAT? A February 24th poll taken by CBS/NY Times found that 64% of Americans disapprove of the job Bush is doing. So, it is questionable which Americans Bushy-Brain is basing his statement on.

And then the next day the AP started a story about the lack of consumer confidence with this paragraph:

No good news today on the economic front. Consumer confidence plunged, the wholesale inflation rate soared, the number of homes being foreclosed jumped, home prices fell sharply and a report predicts big increases in health care costs.

Hey, Bush. Please. Do everyone a favor. Shut up and crawl back into your hole!

A View From ON Top

2008-02-21T08:01:00.003-05:00

For starters, The Peach isn't scratching its fuzziness over reports regarding John McCain's alleged improper relationship with lobbyist Vicki Iseman (shown above).

The New York Times never states that there was any sort of "physical" impropriety, even though during McCain's failed 2000 presidential bid aides requested that the two flirt birds stay away from each other. What is infinitely more intriguing (and potentially more damaging) is that McCain urged FCC regulators to speed up consideration of a proposal favoring one of Ms. Iseman's major clients.

This is not the first time McCain has faced questions about ethical wrongdoings. During the 1980's McCain was part of a Congressional group favoring deregulation of the banking industry. What followed was the collapse of the savings and loan industry, most notoriously Lincoln Savings which was led by Charles H. Keating. McCain became known as one of the "Keating Five," senators who received $1.3 million in campaign contributions from Keating.

Though McCain received no penalty for his part as the "Keating Five," the Senate Ethics Committee determined that he had used "poor judgment" in trying to influence banking regulators.

After eight years of "poor judgment" by the current travesty we call president (that's Bush, in case anyone was wondering), The Peach wonders if we really want someone who will put us through this again?

Thank God for Keith Olberman

2008-02-15T22:40:00.001-05:00

Chicken Little Redux

2008-02-15T09:19:00.003-05:00

It seems every time Bush opens his yap The Peach just wants to look at him and say, "Are you still here?"

After brave members of Congress stood up to the "dickless backers of Bush" and refused extending Presidential authority to tap phone calls and emails, Bush again did his best Chicken Little impersonation. He stated that because of Democratic defiance "our country is in more danger of an attack."

He then went on to reaffirm that Iraq has weapons of mass destruction, the economy is strong, he has no idea who leaked Valerie Plame's name, No Child Left Behind is working, the Afghan government is functioning, the Taliban is on the run, he has the support of the American people, and the Tampa Bay Devil Rays will win the World Series in 2008.

100 Years of Ineptitude

2008-02-15T08:44:00.001-05:00

On CNN's Larry King show John McCain defended his statement that he would keep American troops in Iraq for 100 years if necessary as long as its "fine with" the American people. He then went on to state that his opponents were taking the quote out of context (isn't that a well worn phrase?). The Peach thinks readers should decide for themselves. You can view the "100 year" clip here.

As far as The Peach's thoughts? Well, McCain seems to think as long as troops are safe we'll just keep them there. The Peach has a better idea. Why not ask Bush to uproot his family and move them to Baghdad for the next 100 years? It's his war, let him sit in it.

Republicans Can't Protect Themselves

2007-11-29T12:54:00.000-05:00

What is sure to be a "if you can't even protect yourselves, how do you expect to protect everyone else" moment, a member of Hillary Clinton's gay and lesbian steering committee was mysteriously allowed to ask a question at last night's Republican debate.

Retired Brigadere General Keith Kerr challenged the nominees on the rights of gays and lesbians to serve in the military. Apparently, Gen. Kerr submitted the question for Republican candidates a couple of months ago, but was "never asked" if he was a Clinton supporter so he "didn't tell."

The Peach feels that this will be a huge embarrassment for Republicans, who insist they would do a better job of protecting Americans against terrorism, but unfortunately can't seem to protect themselves from Democrats.

Anne Coulter Is Marilyn Manson

2007-11-29T08:29:00.000-05:00

The Peach knew it had seen that face before:

Not The "Right" Religion

2007-10-19T08:08:00.000-04:00

A federal panel urged the federal government to shut down a Saudi supported private school in Virginia yesterday, stating that it was concerned the school was promoting religious intolerance and was a threat to the United States. The commission found that the school has been using the same textbooks that most schools in Saudi Arabia incorporate, and that many of these texts "promote violence against Christians, Jews, Shias and polytheists."

What The Peach finds disconcerting about the whole thing isn't just that the Bush administration continues to herald the Saudi government as a close friend an ally (let's remember that many of the 9/11 hijackers came from Saudi Arabia). It's that the commission's spokesperson is none other than Leonard Leo, the executive vice president of The Federalist Society, and the head of "Catholic Outreach" at the Republican National Committee. Catholic Outreach, as many of us know, has been a champion of intolerance here in the old US of A for quite some time. But The Peach figures as long as it's Christian intolerance it must be OK.

Dana Does D.C.

2007-10-05T08:47:00.000-04:00

Now that the Bush administration has been caught with their collective pants down attempting to cover up their approval of torture interrogation (see previous article "We Do Torture"), their press darling, Dana Peri"dun"no, has gone into full-flung, ditsy blond mode in her responses to questions regarding the secretive memos. The Peach would like to give a sampling of Duh-Duh-Dana's answers during the most recent press briefing:

I do not have anything to start with . . . I would have to refer you to Department of Justice . . . I'm not going to comment on that . . . I don't know. I don't -- I wasn't on -- I don't recall . . . I don't believe that I -- I'm not in a position to be able to do that . . . I don't know. I don't know . . . I'm not going to comment on those . . . I don't know . . . I would have to check . . . I wasn't thinking of that in particular . . . Well, I think . . . I don't know . . . No, I don't think so . . . I would guess . . . I've not heard that . . . I don't know . . . I don't think it's a new request . . . As I understand it . . . I don't think it's necessary . . . I don't think we're seeking their help . . . I'm not going to go there . . . I haven't asked him about it . . . I have to say that I have not heard about that. Can I check on it?

Will someone please get this girl a bag of Smarty-Poofs? Please?

We Do Torture

2007-10-04T08:36:00.000-04:00

After declaring torture "abhorrent" in December 2004 it now appears that the Justice Department secretly approved many extreme forms of interrogation the following February 2005.

Alberto Gonzales approved the "harshest interrogation techniques ever used by the CIA" over the objections of then deputy attorney general James B. Comey, who told colleagues at the department that "they would all be 'ashamed' when the world eventually learned of it."

When asked to comment a White House spokesman stated that the "practices fall within U.S. law." The Peach is guessing that it's U.S. law circa Salem Witch Trials.

Big Time Bio Oops

2007-10-04T08:21:00.000-04:00

As just another symbol of "who's watching the hen house," it seems that our government has lost track of which labs are experimenting with deadly and contagious germs. When asked by the GAO (Government Accountability Office) as to whether they knew of all labs conducting tests, all twelve (including the FBI!) answered NO.

The Associated Press also reported that since 2003 there have been "more than 100 accidents and missing shipments." The Peach would like to point out that these are organisms that terrorists would love to get their hands on. Do we have to remind everyone of that pesky anthrax-at-the-post-office incident a few years back? Click here.

Bush Does His Best Britney

2007-09-13T21:25:00.001-04:00

Isn't it ironic how two seemingly skyrocketing careers can simultaneously come crashing down to earth with a deafening thud. Just days after Britney Spears proved to the world that she now couldn't even make it past the first round of The Gong Show, President Bush attempted to do his best version of "Gimme More" by asking weary Americans to allow him to do Iraq his way.

Similar to Britney's VMA debacle in which she did nothing short of embarrass herself, Bush continues to look like a horse's ass when it comes to the war in Iraq. He "mimicked" Gen. Petraeus' opinions that troop reductions could be possible if improvements in Iraq were sustainable, while failing to mention that even if the proposed 30,000 troop reduction occurred in July 08 the level would still be at pre-surge numbers.

Ultimately, Bush just didn't look like his usual arrogant, pompous self. In fact, (quoting one Britney review) during his speech to the nation he seemed to "wobble around dazed, confused and poorly rehearsed." My, how the mighty have fallen.

This is winning?

2007-04-30T09:17:00.000-04:00

Prior to Bush's expected veto of a war funding bill that would see our troops returning from a disastrous war which he created, the US military announced the death toll of American troops exceeded 100 for the month of April making it one of the deadliest in this war's ugly history. This raises the official count of US troops killed in Iraq to over 3,300 while the number of Iraqi casualities has well eclipsed tens of thousands. Yet, even without signs of improvement or coherent plan taking shape, the Bush administration continues to insist on this war's necessity.

The Peach joins others in their frustration over Bush's inept handling of Iraq, and fully supports politicians who are attempting to put a stop to this nightmare.

Valley Girl Smackdown

2007-04-11T08:44:00.000-04:00

With smarmy, smug, "I think I'm smarter than you" Tony Snow off somewhere getting radiation treatment, the WH has replaced him with another in a long line of pea-brained spokespeople. This time it's Dana Perino, the blonde bimbette who spews out answers like she's interviewing for the position of high school cheerleading captain.

Yes, she can act all cute and sexy when given soft questions by the press, subsequently dishing out the carefully choreographed spin that she has painstakingly rehearsed (notice how many times she goes to rah-rah mate Suzanne Malveaux, while routinely avoiding Helen Thomas who has on occasion caused Dana's brown roots to show). And not unlike Tony, it seems Dana has been drinking from the same water cooler as Bill O'Reilly, using 9/11 as a rationale for everything from the Iraq invasion to drunk illegal immigrants in Virginia.

Can she handle the pressure? Doubtful. The Peach figures as the honeymoon with the press ends and the marriage grows colder Dana-cakes will start answering more and more of the tougher questions with, "Like, we're in a war!" or "Hello, Saddam was, like, soooo evil" or "Have you people forgotten September 11th, duhhhh?" or "O'migosh the terrorists are, like, really bad." With this administration, it's just a matter of time before stupidity rises.

Bush Examines Approval Ratings

2007-01-18T08:14:00.000-05:00

"Wow, through this here telescope they look downright huge!"

What A Mess!

2007-01-17T07:59:00.000-05:00

OK, so The Peach has been relatively silent as of late, protecting its fuzzy skin from all sorts of winter frosts and right-wing shenanigans. But fear not, loyal readers, The Peach still keeps an eye towards the perplexing politics of this administration.

Take this recent request by Defense Secretary Robert Gates. Mr. Gates is considering sending more troops to Afghanistan in response to stepped up Taliban attacks. The attacks from Pakistan into Afghanistan have increased "several fold" and will only intensify as the spring and summer roll along.

Well, The Peach can only point out that if we didn't stir up that hornets' nest in Iraq and concentrated on Afghanistan from the get-go we wouldn't have a military stretched so thin that they barely have the ability to even defend themselves.

The Peach would also like to remind readers of what the Gulf of Tonkin resolution did to the Vietnam War. As a reminder, the G of T allowed President Johnson to increase the number of American military forces in Vietnam at his discretion. Now our current President wants to essentially do something similar: increase the American military presence with the idea that greater numbers will defeat the enemy.

As before, this looks like another strategy destined for disaster.

The Walrus Quits

2006-12-04T09:31:00.000-05:00

Obviously nervous about facing Democratic committee scrutiny once the new term begins, UN Ambassador John Bolton is resigning when his recess appointment expires. Failures of Bush administration foreign policy throughout the world, as well as growing resentment by even some of America's closest allies, has now led a number of White House personnel to abandon Bush's sinking ship.

Kiss of Death

2006-11-30T09:50:00.000-05:00

Now that Bush has given Nuri al-Maliki his vote of confidence we can add him to the long list of people Bush has supported who ultimately became embarassments to the White House and this nation. Bush stated that Maliki is "the right guy for Iraq," a phrase The Peach feels will begin to resonate like Bush's "heckuva job Brownie" following the Katrina disaster, or his feeling that Rumsfeld was "exactly what is needed" to run the Global War on Terror.

Let's face it, things have gotten so bad in Iraq that The Peach feels for the remainder of his term Bush is better served keeping his mouth shut, the doors closed and the cameras off.

Party On, Nudettes!

2006-11-28T10:11:00.000-05:00

Word out of Argentina now has it that the Bush twins, purportedly on a UNICEF mission to South America, were in fact there celebrating their 25th birthday. It appears that the "sisters of mercy" have made themselves tabloid headlines, from Barbara having her purse stolen (while under secret service watch), to running in their birthday suits down the hotel hallways.

Barbara (also known as not-Jenna) has subsequently been asked to return to America, most likely for that ever important booster shot of Bush "family values."

Show Me The Money

2006-11-28T09:22:00.000-05:00

There he goes again. Looks like Bush is gearing up for another of his delusional rants to explain the escalating violence in Iraq, claiming again that sectarian attacks there are being orchestrated by al-Qaida (The Peach often wonders if Bush, while sleeping, calls out Osama's name).

Bush qualified his remarks by stating that this belief was simply his "opinion," and does not seem to carry the support of military leaders on the ground. The Peach would also like to point out that Bush made these comments while in Estonia, and even though a huge majority of Americans don't believe a word Bush says, there is that remote possiblity of gaining support from paranoid Estonians.

HOW SWEET IT IS!!!!

2006-11-08T21:48:00.000-05:00

It's enough to make The Peach weep with joy:
Dems take the House and the Senate!

"Rummy, You're Doin' a Heckuva Job"

2006-11-02T08:04:00.000-05:00

In a move that reminds The Peach how Iraq has reached Katrina-like catastrophic levels, Bush, after insisting that he is no longer "staying the course," has in fact solidified his "stay the course" intentions by announcing that "Rummy" Rumsfeld will be staying on as Defense Secretary till the end of Bush's term. This even after a number of Republicans running for office have stated that if elected they would ask for Rumsfeld's resignation.

In the meantime, an official U.S. military chart listed Iraq as "descending into chaos." Bush, in his usual brain-dead fashion, dismissed the chart as "one of those mysterious charts that somehow appear" and that ultimately "we are winning" in Iraq. The Peach can only wonder if the number of soldiers killed is also some "mysterious" number that Bush dismisses.

America No Longer No.1 On Hit List

2006-10-20T09:28:00.000-04:00

Thanks to Bush's strategy to make America safer, Britain has now replaced America as al-Qaeda's main terrorist target. British intelligence experts were quoted as saying that "Al-Qaeda sees the UK as a massive opportunity to cause loss of life and embarassment to the authorities" and that "Britain is sitting at the receiving end of an al-Qaeda campaign."

The Peach can only guess that this is how Bush measures success--better them than us.

The First Domino Falls

2006-10-20T09:00:00.000-04:00

In what could be Iraq's "Tet," a Shiite militia force led by anti-American cleric Muqtada al-Sadr had taken over the city of Amarah. The temporary siege reflected not only the rise of hostilities towards the American presence in Iraq, but also between rival Shiite factions in government.

The militia, a Taliban-like group Iraqis can expect to see more of, has been implicated in a series of killings that included merchants who sold alcohol and women whose behavior was deemed immoral.

Yet, even though Iraq keeps slipping further into what could be another Iran or former Afghanistan, we must continue to remind ourselves of that never ending Bush mantra: at least they're better off now.

Bush's "Duck and Cover" School Safety Strategy

2006-10-10T10:04:00.000-04:00

Again ignoring to address protecting school children through prevention, Bush and administration members are planning to hold a School Safety conference that instead focuses on what to do when an attack happens and how to cope with one afterwards.

The conference is seen by many as a cosmetic act by a White House that has already stated that no new policy or funding will be announced at the event. This is just another opportunity for Bush to act like he really cares and is doing something. An example of how useless this event is, one of the main topics to be discussed is "Helping Communities Heal and Recover," a sure sign of the Bush administration throwing up its hands and acknowledging that it will happen again and there's nothing they can do about it.

To top it off, the Bushies ignored offers from any groups that support limited access to guns and/or the prevention of gun violence. Most notably, the Brady Campaign to Prevent Gun Violence had written to Bush offering to help put together a "comprehensive" agenda for the conference, but received no reply from the White House. A spokesman for the group said "prevention clearly is not on the table for this conference."

The Peach isn't sure if the NRA was consulted for any pointers.

Baron's Brain: Rove's October Surprise

2006-10-10T09:35:00.000-04:00

After spending the last week of September eagerly anticipating Karl Rove's planned "October Surprise," which would no doubt bring Republicans to glorious victory this mid-term election, the Brain has finally seen Rove's master plan.

In pure genius fashion, Rove now plans on convincing the voting public that all Republicans are Democrats and that all Democrats are Republicans. That's right, rather than fighting against the backlash of Foley, Iraq, Afghanistan, N. Korea, Abramoff, etc., Rove plans on going with the anti-Republican sentiment and, along with Republican friendly Fox News, convince voters that they shouldn't vote for Republicans.

Hopes are that voters, in their desire to vote for anyone who is not Republican, will really be voting for a Republican. The first images of Rove's mission could be seen above. In the Rhode Island Senate race, Fox purposely declared the incumbent Chafee (a Republican) to be a Democrat while presenting his opponent Whitehouse (a Democrat) to be a Republican. Once voters see that the supposed "Democrat" is losing, they will get to their polling stations like their pants were on fire to get that Democrat into office, knocking out the supposed "Republican" opponent.

Ultimately, Rove is hoping to capitalize on the same strategy that he used to get Bush reelected: rather than cater to voters' intelligence, play on their stupidity.

Rummy and North Korea: Arming the Enemy

2006-10-10T08:43:00.000-04:00

In what should remind readers of Bush members' cozy connection with Saddam Hussein prior to the Iraq fiasco, North Korea's recent detonation of a nuclear weapon came via the aid of a company which Donald Rumsfeld was a board member.

In 2000, ABB, a European engineering company based in Zurich, won a $200 million contract to provide the design and key components for nuclear reactors to the now "axis of evil" member, North Korea. Donald Rumsfeld was a board member of the company from 1990 to 2001, leaving after he agreed to join the Bush administration. The company also opened an office in Pyongyang, N. Korea's capital, shortly thereafter.

Rumsfeld stated he did not "recall" the sale being brought before the board, even though a spokesman for ABB stated that "board members were informed about the project."

Blaming Mr. Booze

2006-10-04T08:01:00.000-04:00

Now that the Republican party is (no surprise here) beginning to more and more resemble the Catholic church with their endless list of laughable claims excusing the behavior of Mark "La Cage Aux" Foley, The Peach hopes that as the next election nears more Americans will see actions surrounding Foleygate as typical of the corrupt characteristics surrounding the Bush administration and their Republican followers.

As the Foley scandal unfolded it became increasingly interesting at how his indiscretions were bizarrely attached to some sort of supposed flaw. First, Foley checks himself into an alcohol rehab center, even though many of his sordid emails were sent while he was on the job and completely sober, and some of his closest friends dispute the "drink led me down the evil path" rationale. Then he claims that he was molested by a clergyman between the ages of 13 and 15, even though his attorney refuses to disclose who the salacious padre was or at what "church of sin" these acts took place.

Now, the latest revelation, is that Foley is gay. We're not sure how this is meant to rationalize his actions, but The Peach is sure many Republicans are now nodding their heads saying "Oh, well that explains everything." Unfortunately, this has become an all too familiar pattern of Republicans. The Peach has proclaimed a number of times that the Republican party's anti-gay stance comes from a deep-rooted fear that many of them are closeted homosexuals or have latent homosexual tendencies, and their anti-gay facade is simply used to get votes.

But none of this should be used to brush aside what has become symptomatic of Bush and his Republicans. Pages were told to steer clear of Foley since 1995, even though Republican house members are now behaving as if this is some sort of freakish thing that has just happened and they were totally unaware of. And even though Bush claims to be "disgusted" by the events, dismayed by the "violation of the people's trust," and certain that "all the facts will come out," the responses are all typical of an administration and a political party that is nothing but notorious for hiding facts and routinely "violating" the people's trust.

Full of Shi'ite (Part Two)

2006-09-26T08:22:00.000-04:00

There are times (more frequent than not) that the Bush administration gives a feeble attempt to cover their collective asses, and it comes off looking, well, feeble. Take Condi Rice's recent response to former President Clinton's description of how his administration attempted to eradicate Osama Bin Laden and his loyal followers, and left a comprehensive plan for Bush when he took over the White House.

According to Condi, the Bushies were not left "a comprehensive strategy to fight al Qaeda" and that "big pieces were missing, like an approach to Pakistan that might work." The Peach would like to remind Condi that according to Pakistan's President Pervez Musharraf, a major portion of that "approach" was to tell him "Be prepared to be bombed. Be prepared to go back to the Stone Age." The Peach wonders if Bush needed the former President to leave that as part of the "strategy" in order for it to be "comprehensive."

Yet, The Peach isn't going to speculate if that's one of the pieces Condi is referring to, let alone what she exactly means by "comprehensive strategy." But, knowing this administration, The Peach can only guess that some of the other missing pieces she's alluding to were whether or not to buy Boardwalk and/or did Professor Plum do it with the lead pipe in the conservatory.

Full of Shi'ite

2006-09-15T14:31:00.000-04:00

Using "FEAR" yet again as a tool to get things done in his ignorant fashion, Bush insisted that unless Congress approved his interrogation strategies against terrorists they will inevitably "attack us again" and that "time is running out." This comes on the heels of former Secretary of State Colin Powell's opposition to the Bush plan and that approving the Bushian tactics would only cause the world to "doubt the moral basis of our fight against terrorism."

The Peach would like to throw their fuzzy weight behind Mr. Powell and go further by saying, as we have always said, that Bush doesn't know what he's doing. And he continues to travel down his delusional path based solely on the advice of other people who also don't know what they're doing. If anyone wants a real life version of "the blind leading the blind," they only need to look towards the White House.

Blah, Blah, Blah

2006-08-31T08:17:00.000-04:00

If it quacks like a political speech, and walks like a political speech, it must be a political speech. In a sure sign that the "Rovian" campaign wagon has begun to role, Bush gave what he claimed to be a "not political speech" at the American Legion convention, defending his war in Iraq strategy and, oddly enough, sounding quite political.

Giving real meaning to the phrase ad nauseum Bush continued to harp on the idea that any other strategy but his would signal a "retreat before the job is done" and would put our country "even more in jeopardy."

Well, The Peach has this to say to Bush: HELLLLOOOOO! Is anybody in there? Your strategy ISN'T WORKING! YOU put us in this position! AND you're NOT making it ANY BETTER! Iraq wasn't a threat before and NOW IT IS! And your speeches are nothing but CRAP!

And, you know what Bush? We ARE going to politicize this issue. We are going to tell the American people how you continue to mislead, how you continue to use fear as a political tool, and how insanely incompetent you really are. How do you like them peaches, bucko?

Baron's Brain: Bush Still Looking For New Orleans

2006-08-28T10:40:00.000-04:00

In yet another Bush blunder, Air Force One was forced to circle for hours over New Orleans when Bush, after looking out his window, insisted "that ain't New Orleans." When his staff finally asked him what exactly New Orleans looked like he replied, "It looks like a giant swamp, people use boats for cars, and most houses are surrounded by water and only a half-story high."

Abstinence Only Pregnancies?

2006-08-17T11:13:00.000-04:00

In a report that makes The Peach wonder if "just say no" means "don't stop," an Ohio school board is expanding sex education after the discovery that 13% of one high school's female population were pregnant. Out of the 490 female students attending Timken High School in 2005, 65 were to discovered to be with child.

The Canton school board's abstinence only program will now include teaching students who decide to have sex to do so responsibly. The program will be renamed either "Don't do it! But if you do, here's Mr. Love Glove" or "I'm saving myself till the next trip to the pharmacy."

And The Cubs Will Win The World Series

2006-08-14T22:00:00.000-04:00

Proving that his brain is still on vacation, Bush made the delusional announcement today that Israel defeated Hezbollah in their month long Middle East war. He then commented on Hezbollah's claims of victory, in his typical pot-calling-the-kettle-black fashion, by saying that Hezbollah has (are you ready for this) "a fantastic propaganda machine, and they're claiming victories." Doesn't a line like that just set off all the hypocrisy bells in the world.

What makes all of this even more bizarre is that while Bush was making his fantastical proclamation, PM Olmert declared the offensive to have suffered "shortcomings" and a poll of Israelis found that 52% felt Israeli forces had been unsuccessful in its Lebanon offensive.

It's times like this that The Peach wants to take a deep look inside Bush's ear and see if anythings moving in all them cobwebs.

Baron's Brain: I Haven't Done Any Work . . .

2006-08-14T12:43:00.000-04:00

BUT BOY ARE MY DOGS TIRED.

Bush Knew of Threat. Remained on Vacation.

2006-08-11T07:16:00.000-04:00

It has been discovered that our "sun-baked brained" leader knew about the terrorist plot as early as Sunday, and knew about the raid on the suspects as early as Wednesday, yet decided to remain on vacation in Crawford, Texas.

In his Sunday conversation with our mentally challenged leader, Tony Blair told Bush that "there was a specific threat to US airlines." Blair reaffirmed this concern on Wednesday, 8 p.m. UK time. Apparently, the threat was not enough for Bush to reschedule his bike ride and return to his office.

There are times when The Peach wonders which is the greater threat--the terrorists or the casual ineptness of our leaders.

Define "Suggestive"

2006-08-10T09:35:00.000-04:00

In response to the newest uncovered terror scheme in London, Bush's HS Secretary Michael Chertoff claimed that the setup was "suggestive of an al-Qaida plot." Chertoff went on to clarify this statement by distinguishing this terror group from others by claiming they were "sophisticated, had a lot of members and it was international in scope."

Sorry, but The Peach is having a little trouble here. Is Chertoff describing al-Qaida or the United Nations? Maybe this explains why this administration is incapable of capturing real terrorists. The definition is a bit too broad.

Hey Dick! Shut Your Pie Hole!

2006-08-10T07:47:00.000-04:00

The Peach is once again banging its fuzzy head against the wall over the incredibly, stupendously, incomprehensibly idiotic comments by Dick (yes, you are) Cheney on Joe Lieberman's defeat to Ned Lamont. It seems that ole Dicky-boy is now telling his pea-brained constituency that Lieberman's defeat sends a message to "Al Qaeda types . . . that they can ultimately break the will of the American people." That's right, even Bush press secretary Tony Snow was quoted as saying Joe's downfall is like waving "a white flag in the war on terror."

Have these people broken into the stash of Afghan heroin? The Peach feels that the only respectable thing for readers to do when encountering anyone making this claim is to pause, give a serious look of contemplation, then calmly turn to that person and gently but firmly state, "You, my friend, are an idiot." Nuff said.

Sweating Bullets

2006-07-27T08:13:00.000-04:00

If any image shows Condi Rice is over her head and out of her league, it is this one captured as she feebly attempted to explain the party line opposing a cease fire in the Middle East. Her inability to coordinate any form of agreement, along with a growing list of ignorant Mid-East policies constructed by the Bush administration, left her isolated from most, if not all, American allies.

Condi has just become this administration's poster child for desperation and futility.

Britain On Trial Over Wreck In Iraq

2006-07-26T07:26:00.000-04:00

In a stunning ruling The Peach hopes will find its way into the American courts, judges in Britain have allowed the families of four soldiers killed in Iraq the right to challenge the government's refusal to hold a public inquiry into why Britain joined the war.

Even though the judges have stated that it is unlikely the families will succeed in forcing a public inquiry, the families are assured of the potential opportunity of forcing the leaders of Britain to "explain how they justify the invasion."

Meanwhile, back here in the U.S., Prime Minister Al- Maliki of Iraq will address what The Peach hopes will only be a smattering of listeners in Congress (a number of congressional members have stated they will boycott the speech). The hope is to shore up the U.S. military commitment in Iraq. The speech also comes at a time when Bush has come up with yet another "new plan" to quell the violence in Iraq (how many new plans is it now?). The Peach sees this as another feeble attempt to mask the incompetency of Bush and his administration. Rather than coming up with a real solution to the problem, he and his cronies supply the American people with fairytales at the cost of American soldiers and Iraqi civilians.

If, by some miracle, courts in Britain and the U.S. hold their country's respective leaders' feet to the fire (torture symbolism intended), The Peach hopes that ultimately those leaders are forced to pay for the lies they have promoted and the suffering they have created.

Rick Santorum--Village Idiot

2006-06-22T09:36:00.000-04:00

If The Peach had to pick one idiot (outside of Bush) that is thankfully bringing down the Republican party, that idiot would be none other than Rick (In)San(e)torum.

It seems Rick has jumped all over a "newly declassified" document that he insists proves there were WMD's in Iraq at the time of the recent American invasion. He even goes as far as saying that there are many WMD's still in Iraq and can be easily bought and/or sold on the black market (in case anyone was interested).

Unfortunately for Rick, he has yet again failed to read beyond the title page. An official from the White House's Iraq Survey Group acknowledged the findings that San(i)tor(i)um cited, but dismissed them because they were "pre 1991 weapons" that "could not have been fired because they were degraded." The official also added that these were not the WMD's the world believed Iraq had, nor were they what this country went to war for.

Bless poor Rick's feeble little brain. The Peach just loves it when yet another Republican scuttles their own reelection.

Let The Fear Mongering Begin

2006-06-07T11:23:00.000-04:00

With a disaster happening in Iraq, with so much debt that China will eventually own us, with Afghanistan as the world's first narco-state, with Somalia becoming the new breeding ground for terrorists, and still with millions of Americans without any kind of health care, conservatives, the Republican party, and the Bush administration are yet again pulling out that great excuse for the cause of all the chaos in the world: gay marriage.

That's right, whenever the Bush administration and Republicans can smell failure on their own breath, they feel the need to pander to the lunatic fringe for support and votes. One such group called MassResistance (formerly the Article 8 Alliance) pressured Macy's in Boston to take down their display marking Boston's gay pride week. This is a group whose home base isn't anywhere near Boston and whose entire existence reeks of homophobia (and you know what The Peach's stance is on that: you are what you fear the most).

It's no coincidence that Bush brought the subject up again just before a series of mid-term elections were held. There isn't anything else for him or the Republican party to hold up as an achievement. The Peach feels the SCLM should attack those who bring this up as an "urgent" issue, asking for evidence that proves how this will "undermine the family structure."

And ultimately, The Peach would like this issue attacked for what it is: a fig leaf for Bush's inadequacies.

Undressed!

2006-06-06T11:00:00.000-04:00

Thank God for Keith Olberman. In this piece, not only does Keith completely strip down Bill O'Reilly for the bald-faced liar that he is, but he also exposes Fox News as the cover-up agency, liar enabling, pro-Bush network that those of us with some intelligence have routinely argued that it is. Keep up the good work Keith!

How Dare He!

2006-06-01T15:39:00.000-04:00

On the day after his Department of Homeland Security cut 40% from New York City's anti-terror fund because it found that New York has "no national monuments or icons," Bush had the audacity to urge a compromise for his immigration bill while standing in front of that well-known, New York national monument, the Statue of Liberty.

It's almost comical that not one day goes by in which Bush, in some moronic fashion or another, displays how out of touch with reality he is.

Calling A Spade A Spade

2006-05-24T10:37:00.000-04:00

The Peach would like to send out a rousing "jolly good" to Lou Dobbs for his editiorial piece entitled "Bush, Congress tell working folk to go to hell." The article destroys the Bush administration and our current government leaders for the dangerous and precarious path it has put this country on. In it Dobbs makes this point:

Never before in our country's history have both the president and Congress been so out of touch with most Americans. Never before have so few of our elected officials and corporate leaders been less willing to commit to the national interest. And never before has our nation's largest constituent group -- some 200 million middle-class Americans -- been without representation in our nation's capital.

The Peach can't say it has always been a huge Lou Dobbs fan, but in this case we applaud and commend his frankness and his bravery.

Physician, Heal Thyself!

2006-05-20T06:51:00.000-04:00

Well, The Peach can smell a campaign issue when it's festering, and this reeks to high heaven. The thing The Peach doesn't get is why Bush is pushing this issue when he should be telling himself this while looking in the mirror. His feeling is that all "newcomers" should have a "command of the English language." Hell, the American people would like a president who has a command of the English language. For more on how "not to use the English language" readers should click here.

Channeling President Logan

2006-05-08T09:05:00.000-04:00

Why does it seem that with every new action by Bush he more resembles wacky President Logan from the TV show 24? Not that Bush would ever have a former president wacked to give the appearance of a nation in danger in order to protect his presidency (though there are a lot of conspiracy theorists out there), but the notion of Air Force General Michael Hayden being nominated to head the CIA sounds too much like Homeland Security taking over CTU. This move will ultimately place the CIA under greater control of the White House so that the only information on the CIA will be conveniently filtered through Bush and his PR team.

Yet, it isn't just this one act that makes The Peach consider the similarities. It's Bush and Logan's attitudes towards how the administration must be cloaked in secrecy and how the American people are treated like a TV audience, susceptible and accepting of whatever spin they put on current situations. The Peach can only wonder (and Peach/24 fans will concur) if the creators of the show had our weasly leader in mind when they were assembling the spineless, corrupt, lieing, evil characteristics of their President Logan.

We Don't Call Him "Dick" For Nothing

2006-05-04T08:03:00.000-04:00

In yet another episode of "the pot calling the kettle black," VP Dick (don't call me Shirley) Cheney has accused Russia of backsliding on democracy by, oddly enough, invoking the great God "OIL." In his speech to Baltic and Black Sea leaders Cheney was quoted as saying:

No legitimate interest is served when oil and gas become tools of intimidation or blackmail.

Excuse me? Isn't this the tactic this administration used when pushing for drilling in the Alaskan National Wildlife Refuge? And, now that The Peach is thinking about it, wasn't oil going to pay for that nagging little dust-up in Iraq?

Meanwhile, the rise in gas prices has Bush beating the old "we rely on foreign oil too much" drum once again, sending Hummer crazed Americans into a sweaty frenzy. The Peach thought this quote from an Australian paper summed up the oil situation in the U.S. rather nicely:

In the US, the minute petrol prices start to climb, the entire nation is transformed into a horde of gibbering, whining, state-dependent automatons, desperately pleading that Somebody Somewhere Must Do Something.

C'mon, if we're really going to talk about"democracy" shouldn't we be discussing mmmmm wiretaps or cover-ups or, perhaps, leaking secret information or intimidating government employees or . . .

"And my red tie . . .

2006-02-28T20:49:00.000-05:00

is really a magic carpet."

OK, let's see if the Peach gets this right. According to reports, Bush says that "he had spoken to all Iraqi sects and that they are going to choose unification."

60 people were killed in Baghdad on Tuesday. That's 60 people, in the capital of a country that we're protecting, killed in one day. Is this how unification begins? Is this the best statement Bush can come up with?

It must be easy at 35,000 feet to feel your actions are right while Iraq, more and more reflecting Bush's failure to understand foreign politics or ideologies, bleeds.

Our President . . . well . . . he's an idiot.

"Ohhhhh, You Mean Ports . . .

2006-02-22T20:46:00.000-05:00

I thought you said they were going to guard my shoooorts."

Yes, our President is truly an idiot. One day after he defended his administration's decision to allow countries that bred 3 of the 9/11 terrorists to protect our shores he has turned around and said that, well, he had no idea what those other people who make decisions that he doesn't know about who rule the country and put Americans lives in danger but advise him on what to do which he repeats in front of cameras and gets printed in the press which he recommends until his support tanks and then he decides he . . . .

Well, you get the picture. How can the President of the USA on one day call this "good foreign policy" and then decide that, oooo, well it's a bit more complicated is beyond the Peach's fuzzy understanding. I guess that's what happens when Presidents decide they don't need to read anything.

Bush's Failed Mideast Policy

2006-01-26T19:06:00.000-05:00

A very large nail was slammed into the coffin of Bush's so-called "roadmap to peace" and whatever other "peace" plans he had for the Mideast when the Islamic militant organization Hamas scored a huge and decisive victory in Palestinian parliamentary elections. The Peach recognizes this as yet another dangerous political situation perpetuated by the current administration's ineptness and arroganance when it comes to all things, past and present, that motivate Mideast policies and people.

When Bush realizes that, well, he and the rest of his cronies don't know what they're doing and should leave decision making to someone with half-a-brain is anyone's guess. But The Peach would like to leave readers with these thoughts when it comes to Dumbya's "wer on terr"

--The Taliban continues to fight in Afghanistan and we still don't have Osama Bin Ladan
--Iran has voted in an even more extreme government than before and they are planning to rev up their nuclear activities once again
--Egyptians have recently been pushing for a more extremist government
--Many of the other Arab countries are supporting militant, anti-Israel, anti-American governments
--The "wreck in Iraq" shows no improvement, and promises to become nothing more than the breeding ground for terrorists that Bush has always promised it wouldn't be

With that said, The Peach has one question for Americans--Do you really feel safer?

Hey, Kansas! You're Next!

2005-12-20T21:03:00.000-05:00

In a decision that basically took the "intelligent" out of "intelligent design" a Bush appointed Federal District judge ruled that the Dover, Pennsylvania school district's attempt to disguise creationism and insert it into its school curriculum was unconstitutional.

In a blistering denunciation of the board's half-baked concoction, the judge singled out the Dover policy's "breathtaking inanity" and went so far as to say that "I(ntelligent) D(esign) is not a science" and that it relies on "flawed and illogical" arguments. You can read the court's finding by clicking here.

The Peach hopes that this is just the start of an "intelligent" revolution against the lunatic wing that dominates and dictates both the platform of the Republican party and the ideology that this administration is forcing upon the American people.

The National Strategy for . . . What?!

2005-11-29T20:59:00.000-05:00

The newest comic book to now come out of the White House was discussed by Scott McClellan today during his press briefing. The so called "National Strategy for Victory in Iraq" will be released the morning of November 30th, most likely tucked in somewhere with all those other Christmas catalogues.

All kidding aside, Scottie (please beam me aboard the Enterprise) McClellan did his best during the press briefing to make something out of nothing. He explained that, well, now Bush has a plan. And that plan is to rely on Iraq's political, economic, and security side. And that plan starts with "p" and it rhymes with "t" and that stands for "trouble." Yes, we got trouble! Right here in Sadr City!

And Scott says after reading this the American people will have a clearer sense of Bush's "strategy for success in Iraq." The Peach suggests readers examine the briefing and please, anyone, tell The Peach if Scottie is saying anything. It just seems like the same rhetoric with a new bow.

For all those who aren't completely convinced, The Peach suggests this test: read the briefing and then ask yourself, would you buy a car from this man? The Peach thinks not.

Sober Judgement?

2005-11-19T08:36:00.000-05:00

Is that what Bush is calling his misguided reasoning for our extended stay in Iraq? That's sort of like letting Dean Martin drive your old mother to church.

He also dithers on about how we must "stay the fight until we have achieved the victory that our brave troops have fought for" and how the war is part of our "defense of freedom."

Yes, it has now turned into a war we're continuing because we need to keep our soldiers off the streets and to stop those damn Iraqis from stopping up our toilets. That's how The Peach reads the latest spin. Feel free to contribute your own.

And If You Believe That One . . .

2005-10-27T21:54:00.000-04:00

there's a bridge in Brooklyn The Peach wants to sell you. How can the SCLM actually fall for the stinker of a story coming out of the White House explaining Harriet Miers' reasons for withdrawing her nomination? Because she wants to protect Executive privilege? PUHHHLLEEAASE!

There are a few things that show how transparent this excuse is. First, as Scott McClellan stated in his press briefing, Harriet told Bush of her intentions at 8:30 the night before, 12 hours before the White House announced her withdrawal. This gave the White House ample time to construct some form of spin to deflect the amount of embarassment Bush would encounter. Why did she withdraw? Because she realized that she couldn't do the job. And, unlike Bush, she would be scrutinized to such an extent that it would become blatantly apparent that she was totally unqualified for the job. If people want proof of Bush filling positions with mentally challenged slugs The Peach only has two words to say: Mike Brown.

Secondly, The Peach suggest readers go back and read previous press briefings given by Scott (I'm a spinner) McClellan. Or, at least read the briefing from the day before. In it he states that "she is providing additional information" and that she would be "sending some additional responses to questions" from the Senate. He then goes further by saying that "you're seeing the confirmation process play out" and that when it comes to senators reserving judgement, the White House "respects that." He then finishes by saying that "in terms of additional documentation . . . we want to make sure the Senate Judiciary Committee has the information they need to be able to move forward."

The Peach would like to propose something. Harriet Miers did not write this letter from her own conscience. No, she had quite a bit of help from the White House on this one. They needed a scapegoat for this one, and Bush wasn't going to be it. Heaven forbid he add yet another failure to his ever increasing list of failures.

My Bologna Has A First Name

2005-10-13T21:39:00.000-04:00

It's G-E-O-R-G-E! HELLO!! Is there anyone still stupid enough to get behind the ever dwindling line of stupid people buying tickets to Bush's tax-payer financed, extended theatrical disaster? If people out of the reality loop need further proof that the Bush II presidency can only appear successful through pre-fab, off-off Broadway, staged productions, they simply need to gander at his latest attempt at achieving some form of respectability.

Bush is now staging teleconferences with soldiers in Iraq. That's right, he can't get real soldiers fighting in Iraq to stand up and support him any more. No, he has to rely on loaded questions with canned applause to give the impression that he is actually being successful. Sort of like how M*A*S*H made war look like, well, fun.

The Peach can only hope that Americans are beginning to develop the "Twin Peaks" syndrome and realize that absurdity is only interesting for one season. Then, the viewing public shuts them off.

Cuz You're Once, Twice . . .

2005-10-03T21:22:00.000-04:00

Three times Tom DeLaaaayyyy.

The Peach could not resist using the old Lionel Ritchie moaner to trumpet yet another indictment upon the Teflon Don of the Republican party. At this rate, by the time Tom's up for re-election we may be singing "76 done wrongs, he's a big charade."

Even with all of this being thrown at him, ol' Cockeye continues to claim that the charges against him are "an abomination of justice."

Uh, Tom? Do you hear that dripping sound? It's the lethal injection into the life of your political career.

Family Values Blues

2005-09-17T08:48:00.000-04:00

Just when you think those Bushies have finally got that old "family value" thing all in order, one of the kids goes out and gets hammered.

John Ellis Bush, the youngest son of Jeb Bush, was arrested early Friday and charged with public intoxication and resisting arrest. Imagine that, not only was the little snot snockered, he fought the law--and the law won!

The Peach's feeling is a month in Tal Afar or Baghdad might do the shit a bit of good. Ah, but that's wishful thinking. Lucky for the Bushes they got that hurricane business to cover-up for them.

Bush Bloviates

2005-09-15T21:03:00.000-04:00

In the initial portions of his speech on Thursday night, Bush seems particularly enamored of the aid provided and sacrifices made by (guess who) private citizens. It is all very heartwarming, but also fits eerily in with his whole grotesque ideology: Remove the federal government (and probably state and city governments as well) from any role in taking care of people in need. Privatize everything! If anything could convince people of the need for that, it was Hurricane Katrina.

Even his pledges are all made on behalf of "the American people." Not the government, but us, the people. Which again is very much in line with the fondest hopes of his cronies: Keep your taxes and take care of yourselves.

Bush's pious references to the folks who are gathering the dead bodies need to be tempered by the realization that the company entrusted with that job was previously implicated in a corpse-dumping scandal. Presumably they can be counted on to conceal the true body count.

One bright spot: Bush's speech can be counted upon to piss off his usual cheering section on the right (e.g. the Wall Street Journal) who were hoping that he'd come out swinging against more government relief. Today the Journal's editorial page suggested that government mollycoddling was precisely what got New Orleans' poor African Americans in trouble in the first place. That's right -- it wasn't poverty or racism that drowned those folks. It was the nanny state. The Journal has been among the voices on the right insisting that Katrina is just more proof of the need for policies they advocate, including tax cuts and the privatization of low-cost housing and education.

Silver-spoon baby George just admitted that he learned from television that there is "some deep-rooted poverty in the region" where Katrina struck. Our president, the leader of the free world, just learned that there is deep rooted poverty. How? From watching television! Does he have any idea how checked out that is? Does he ever go anywhere that the crowd hasn't been pre-screened for Republicanism and a household income above $50,000? And he has just generously offered these folks $5,000 for "job training," which as anyone who has attended college recently knows, will pay for maybe one class.

Interestingly, George looks nervous tonight. He seems slightly out of breath, stiff and awkward. Could it be that his plummeting poll numbers have finally got him (or Karl Rove) rattled?

Now he is on about the danger of a potential terrorist attack, not realizing (apparently) how seriously Katrina has both compromised whatever trust we had in the government's potential response and brought home to us the sheer amount of bullshit we've been fed since 9/11 in terms of the idea that Bush has made us any safer. It is no comfort that he has ordered a "complete review" by the cabinet, since his administration is famous for nothing so much as its whitewash jobs. Anyone who takes this seriously has just not been listening.

What a bunch of hooey. Presumably there was enough here to nauseate his enemies and plenty of new spending to piss off his friends.

This Joke Would Be Funny

2005-09-13T16:08:00.000-04:00

If it weren't so tragically close to the truth . . .

Q: What is George W. Bush's position on Roe vs. Wade?
A: He really doesn't give a shit how people get out of New Orleans.

He's Doing a Heck of a Job

2005-09-09T14:14:00.000-04:00

The AP has it first.

Sometimes the MSM Just Gets it Right

2005-09-08T21:06:00.000-04:00

Commentary: It's Not About Incompetence

2005-09-05T09:55:00.000-04:00

As Paul Krugman and others are starting to notice, Bush's day-late-dollar-short response to the victims of Hurrican Katrina is not, or at least not primarily, driven by incompetence or lack of "leadership" or good intentions inadvertantly paralyzed. We need to recognize that for Bush and his neo-con friends, the situation in New Orleans is not their worst nightmare. It is their wet dream (no pun intended).

These are people who work hard to conceal from the American public their fundamental, unshakeable conviction that the federal government has no role to play in meeting public needs or serving the good of the people. It should have no such role, it must have no such role, and they have worked tirelessly and long to turn that conviction into policy at every opportunity.

The disaster on the Gulf Coast is a message in a thinly veiled code. It says, "States, when we told you that we were going to set you free to make your own decisions, when we promised you we were going to get the federal government off your back, this is what we meant. This is what we meant by "individual responsibility" and "less government." "It's not the government's money, it's your money" really means that it's not the government's disaster. It's your disaster. See, you are responsible for yourselves now. Your citizens, rich and poor alike, are responsible for themselves. The question of whether the poor of New Orleans "chose" to stay or simply couldn't leave is beside the point. The point is that it is your problem. In the brave new world that we are bringing into being, you are your own cavalry. You put us into power to make men of you, to force you, by our neglect, to save yourselves."

And in times of ease and prosperity, maybe that message reads better than the way it currently does in New Orleans. Hey, go ahead and "starve the beast" if it means we get to keep more of what we have, and make our own choices and run our own show. And on the strength of that, and some hypocritical cant about "family values," the red-staters voted these ideologues into office. And forgot that we human beings live -- have always lived -- on a mortally narrow faultline between safety and disaster. And now the chickens are coming home to roost.

The only surprising thing is that anyone is surprised by that.